Jeremy Yaffe: First Wife of Alan Arkin, Mother of Adam and Matthew Arkin, and Her Life as a Nurse

Jeremy Yaffe is best known as the first wife of Academy Award-winning actor Alan Arkin and the mother of actors Adam and Matthew Arkin. Born on March 23, 1937, in Massachusetts, she later built a career in nursing and has maintained a private life in California for decades. As of 2026, Jeremy is 88 years old and remains largely out of the public spotlight.

Who is Jeremy Yaffe?

Jeremy Yaffe was born in Massachusetts to parents George Yaffe and Ninna Yaffe. She grew up in a household that supported her early interests in music and dance, which led her to pursue formal education in the arts at Bennington College in Vermont.

At Bennington College, Jeremy studied music and dance during the mid-1950s. The liberal arts institution was known for its creative atmosphere and progressive educational approach. It was there, as an 18-year-old freshman, that she met Alan Arkin, who was a few years her senior and studying drama.

Jeremy married Alan Arkin in December 1955. She was 18 years old, and he was 21. According to Alan’s 2011 memoir “An Improvised Life,” the college administration was not pleased with their marriage. The young couple left Bennington College and moved to New York City without a clear plan for their future.

Early Life in Massachusetts

Jeremy Yaffe grew up in Massachusetts in a family that encouraged her creative pursuits. Her parents, George and Ninna Yaffe, provided her with a stable upbringing. Records indicate that the family had household help during Jeremy’s childhood, suggesting a comfortable middle-class background.

From a young age, Jeremy showed interest in music and dance. These artistic inclinations shaped her educational path and led her to Bennington College, one of the few liberal arts colleges at the time that emphasized creative expression and experimentation in the arts.

Education at Bennington College

Jeremy enrolled at Bennington College in Vermont, where they focused on music and dance. Bennington was known for attracting students interested in unconventional artistic careers and provided an environment where creativity was prioritized over traditional academic structures.

It was during her freshman year at Bennington that Jeremy met Alan Arkin, who was studying drama and already involved in theater productions. Their shared passion for the arts created an immediate connection between them.

Marriage to Alan Arkin

Jeremy and Alan married in December 1955, despite the disapproval of the college administration. In his memoir, Alan wrote that the school was “not pleased” about their decision to marry so young. Within weeks of leaving Bennington and arriving in New York City, the couple discovered that Jeremy was pregnant with their first child.

Life in New York City proved difficult for the young couple. Alan struggled to find acting work, and financial pressures mounted. In his memoir, Alan recalled: “Floundering in New York with a pregnant wife to care for, I tried looking for acting work to no avail. I wanted desperately to be responsible.”

To support his family, Alan joined The Tarriers, a folk music group that performed and toured extensively. Jeremy occasionally traveled with the group, and she also participated in another folk music project called The Baby Sitters alongside Alan, Lee Hays, and Doris Willens Kaplan. The Baby Sitters recorded children’s folk songs from 1958 until 1968, though Jeremy was replaced in the group in 1964 by Barbara Dana, who would become Alan’s second wife.

Children: Adam and Matthew Arkin

Jeremy and Alan had two sons during their marriage. Adam Arkin was born on August 19, 1956, in New York City. Their second son, Matthew Arkin, was born in March 1960. Both boys would grow up to pursue careers in acting, following their father’s path in the entertainment industry.

1. Adam Arkin

Adam Arkin became a successful actor and director, known for his work in television series such as “Chicago Hope,” “The West Wing,” and “Sons of Anarchy,” where he played the antagonist Ethan Zobelle. He has received multiple Emmy nominations for his work.

2. Matthew Arkin

Matthew Arkin built his own acting career with appearances in films including “Liar, Liar” with Jim Carrey and stage productions. Before pursuing acting full-time, Matthew practiced law in Tarrytown and White Plains for five years. His first wife was actress Pamela Newkirk, with whom he has a son.

It is important to note that Anthony Arkin, born in 1967, is not Jeremy’s son. Anthony was born from Alan’s second marriage to Barbara Dana, which lasted from 1964 to 1994.

Divorce and Life After Alan Arkin

Jeremy and Alan Arkin divorced in 1961 after six years of marriage. The divorce came at a time when Alan’s acting career was beginning to gain momentum, though he had not yet achieved the fame he would later attain.

Following the divorce, Jeremy relocated to California with her two sons. She made the decision to return to school and retrain as a registered nurse, pursuing a career focused on healthcare and patient care. This career change represented a significant shift from her earlier involvement in the arts and music.

Jeremy worked as a nurse in California for many years before retiring around 2012. Her estimated net worth of approximately $1 million came primarily from her nursing career, demonstrating her financial independence and professional success.

According to reports, Jeremy remarried multiple times after her divorce from Alan Arkin. Sources indicate she was married at least three to four more times, though details about these marriages have remained private. In a 2000 New York Times profile of Matthew Arkin, he referenced his family’s complex history: “My life was crazy: a lot of divorces, a lot of moving between different configurations of family.”

The Arkin Family Legacy

Alan Arkin went on to marry twice more after his divorce from Jeremy. His second marriage was to actress Barbara Dana, which lasted from 1964 to 1994. They had one son together, Anthony Arkin. Alan’s third and final marriage was to psychotherapist Suzanne Newlander in 1996, and they remained married until his death.

Alan Arkin passed away on June 29, 2023, at the age of 89, in Carlsbad, California. His death marked the end of a celebrated acting career that included an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for “Little Miss Sunshine” (2006), along with numerous other accolades for films such as “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming” (1966), “Wait Until Dark” (1967), “The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter” (1968), and “Argo” (2012).

Jeremy’s grandchildren include Molly Arkin, Adam’s daughter, among others. The Arkin family has maintained connections across different branches, with Jeremy’s sons sometimes living with their father and stepmother Barbara Dana in Greenwich Village during parts of their childhood.

Jeremy Yaffe’s Professional Legacy

Jeremy’s career as a registered nurse spanned several decades in California. Nursing is a profession that requires dedication, compassion, and resilience—qualities that defined Jeremy’s approach to her work and personal life.

While her professional achievements did not receive public recognition or awards, the impact of her work as a nurse affected countless patients and their families. Healthcare professionals often measure success through patient outcomes and the quality of care provided rather than public accolades.

Her decision to pursue nursing after her divorce demonstrated both practical necessity and personal conviction. The career provided financial stability for her family while allowing her to contribute meaningfully to her community through direct patient care.

Jeremy Yaffe Over the Years

Jeremy Yaffe’s life has been marked by several key events and milestones:

• 1955: Married Alan Arkin, marking the beginning of a significant chapter in her life.
• 1956: Gave birth to her first son, Adam Arkin, who would go on to become an actor and director.
• Late 1950s: Welcomed her second son, Matthew Arkin, further expanding her family.
• 1961: Divorced Alan Arkin, closing one chapter of her life and beginning another as a single mother.
• Post-divorce: Continued her career in nursing, dedicating her life to the care and well-being of others.

Influence on Her Sons’ Careers

Jeremy played a crucial role in raising Adam and Matthew Arkin, providing stability during their formative years despite the challenges of divorce and family restructuring. Both sons have spoken about their complex upbringing, which included time spent with both parents and various family configurations.

The fact that both sons pursued successful careers in entertainment while maintaining relatively grounded personal lives suggests the influence of Jeremy’s values. Adam and Matthew have both built reputations as serious, dedicated professionals in their field, known for their work ethic and consistent performances over decades-long careers.

Adam Arkin has worked extensively as both an actor and director, with directing credits on shows including “Justified,” “The Americans,” and “Shameless.” Matthew Arkin has maintained a steady career in theater, film, and television, appearing in productions ranging from Broadway to network television series like “Law & Order” and “All My Children.”

Life Away from the Spotlight

Jeremy Yaffe’s story stands in contrast to typical Hollywood narratives. She chose a path defined by privacy, professional service, and family rather than public visibility. Her life after divorce focused on building a career in healthcare and raising her children outside the entertainment industry’s spotlight.

This choice to maintain privacy, even as her former husband and sons achieved fame, reflects a particular kind of strength and independence. Jeremy created a life defined by her own values and professional accomplishments rather than her connections to celebrity.

Jeremy Yaffe is 88 years old and continues to live in California. She has maintained a consistently private life, avoiding media attention and public appearances. Unlike many individuals connected to Hollywood through marriage or family, Jeremy has chosen to keep personal details about her current life away from public scrutiny.

Conclusion

Jeremy Yaffe’s life encompasses multiple chapters: a young arts student at Bennington College, the first wife of Alan Arkin during his early struggling years, a mother of two sons who became successful actors, and a dedicated nurse who built a career in healthcare. Born on March 23, 1937, she is now 88 years old and continues to live privately in California.

Her story represents a less common narrative in Hollywood history—that of someone who touched fame briefly but chose a different path. Through her nursing career, her role as a mother, and her commitment to privacy, Jeremy built a life of purpose and independence. Her influence continues through her sons, Adam and Matthew Arkin, both of whom have maintained successful careers in entertainment while avoiding many of the pitfalls associated with Hollywood families.

Jeremy Yaffe’s life reminds us that meaningful contributions and personal fulfillment can be found outside public recognition, and that choosing privacy and service over fame is its own form of success.